You know, I was thinking today about how godlings invented heaven as this "perfect" happy Disney in the sky thing where they live forever just the way they want everything to be. They're afraid to die, so they tell themselves they get to live forever in utopia after they do. And I was thinking, I don't want to die, either. But you know, I have yet to hear a version of the afterlife that really lives up to my expectations. So I'm going to invent my own. Yep. Here we go.
We're going to have climate like California. In fact, maybe we'll just copy/paste California right onto the template. They've got every climate. I'm trying to decide whether I want to live at the beach or in wine country. But then given that I am in charge of my Heaven, I think I'll build a house in both places. I'm editing out the earthquakes, though. They would only lead to needing cleanup crews. We're already dead, so no one would die in them. If you want to live up in the mountains, be my guest, but don't expect me to come up and check on you. I've had enough snow in this lifetime. Don't need to be having it in MY afterlife.
Let's see. What else? Oh, I'm throwing in some TARDIS physics (just like Noah did) so everybody fits in California. I mean, you can't very well make it bigger, because that would defeat the purpose of having all the climates close together. Might as well just have earth back at that rate.
Republicans aren't invited. Sorry, but until you repent of your evil ways, there is just no room for you in my heaven. You will have to go to the other place. But rejoice! Unlike some overlords of the afterlife I could mention, I'm not interested in seeing anyone tortured. I just want to keep them away from the general population. Hmm... perhaps internment camps, like where they sent Japanese people in WWII. Conservatives invented that shyte, so they must like it, right? And let's face it. If we brought all the Beck/Rush type wackos with us, they would make the afterlife suck. The only people who can come are the ones who weren't supposed to be going to the 1950s version of heaven anyway. So the cool kids.
Everything you could ever want or need magically appears on request. If you would prefer to make your own things, you may instead opt for materials and ingredients to appear. If, for example, you want to chop your own wood to heat your mountain house, you would request the supplies, and head out to the conveniently located woods. But please be aware that when you chop down a tree, it will be a copy that falls to the ground for your use. The original tree remains standing in case you need it again later.
Transportation. You may drive any vehicle you like. They run on magic non-polluting fuel. And best of all, the TARDIS physics prevent traffic jams.
Afterlife entertainment is handled by appointed department heads and their staff. The music department is headed by Messrs. Lennon, Harrison and Mozart. Prof. Tolkien is, of course, head of the literary department, and as I am unfamiliar with his political leanings there will have to be an exception made for his admittance if they were too right-ish. He's an English teacher. We can just send him off on a digression if need be. And speaking of making exceptions, I think I shall at least give a permanent resident card to Dr. King, allowing him to come and go as he pleases. Because his awesome factor outweighs the Reverend thing.
Einstein will of course be in charge of the sciences department, and have an exceptionally large staff. This is because all the scientists are going to my afterlife. The do-not-question-the-church variety of afterlife certainly won't have them. In a cooperative endeavor with the entertainment department, the satellite TV is already hooked up.
Ok, so I'm getting bogged down in details, so I'll have to parcel the rest of the planning out as we go. I've got a lot of historical leaders on my admittance list. Maybe I'll talk to Jefferson about this. He's a good writer, too. And as a bonus, any of the US founding fathers who show up will probably know how to set up a decent pub.
end long ramble... LOL.
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