Tuesday, July 24, 2012

It's a miracle

"All these people died, and I got shot, but I didn't die! It's a miracle, praise Jebus!"  Oh, FFS. Seriously? You're happy with a god saying "hey, honey, you can live, because I like you. Fuck that little 6-year-old kid, and those other people, though." Because I'm not really impressed with that. I would have let everyone live. I think I should run for supreme deity. Here's my 7-day plan.

Day 1: Feed the World (Also make sure everyone has clean water.)
Day 2: End Religious Wars by saying "hey, I'm the Supreme Deity, now quit fighting." World Peace!
Day 3: Cure diseases, heal amputees/injured humans & other animals, invent safe cold fusion
Day 4: Repair planet, re-balance ecosystems, clean up space debris
Day 5: Terraform Mars, invent transporters/interplanetary travel (incorporate any existing Martian life)
Day 6: Ensure self-sustaining mundane tasks, make sure everyone can have a meaningful, fulfilling job that helps the world. Abolish money.
Day 7: Party! The best way to spend a day in my honor is by being nice to each other and having BBQs.

I think that looks like a pretty good week.