So I've read one too many articles about how I'm supposed to like movies like Steel Magnolias or Bridges of Madison County. I haven't seen either of them, and they're not on my to-do list. Actually, I couldn't even bring myself to watch Titanic. Depressing. Yawn.
If I want to be depressed, I'll watch the news. If I want to be entertained, I'm going with Lord of the Rings every time. Armor, swords, and a wizard who gets to use one! Woo-hoo! I still haven't gotten over Gary Gygax's prohibitions on weapons and armor.
Now I know I'm not the only female person who likes guy movies. How do I know this? My friends likes them, too. So, in the spirit of letting people know what makes a good Guy Movie for Girls who Watch Guy Movies, I'm going to list some of my favorites. Mostly just the ones I happen to think of right now as I'm typing.
- Lord of the Rings Trilogy: Best Movies Ever, made out of My Favorite Books of All Time. Peter Jackson is my hero. I'm still a little unsettled about what he did to Faramir, but other than that... perfect. Unbelievably, stunningly, perfect. I went to see Fellowship with my kids. We sat in the dark for howevermany hours long the movie was, and at the end, my then 9-year-old son said, "is that it? There's supposed to be a battle. Where's the battle?" We could have sat there another three hours.
- Star Wars: Oh, such a complicated yet beloved thing. I was a month shy of my 8th birthday when I saw the original Star Wars back in 1977. I was blown away and completely overwhelmed. I still remember sitting there in awe as the story unfolded. I was a freshman in high school when Jedi came out. And I have to say that being a girl, the giant teddy bears didn't bother me. In fact, they made up for some of the "aww" factor that is normally absent in a movie I can stay awake through. So, the first three are landmark brilliance to me. Phantom Menace suffers from a horrible abundance of Jake Lloyd. "Yippee!" Right. I hope someone has gotten the kid acting lessons since then. He was even worse than JarJar, and that's saying a lot. And don't even get me started on midichlorians. Props for Samuel Jackson and Liam Neeson, though. Awesome casting. I wonder how they got in there? Clones and Sith were better, but still suffered from largely bad casting. But you know, even for all the faults of Eps I - III, you can't not love Star Wars. So they all stay on the list.
- Star Trek: Oh dear gods am I a Trek Geek or what? I know Spock's blood type. (T-) I'm going to pretty much lump the entire Trek-verse in here together, because none of it was bad. I haven't seen Enterprise, though, so I'm leaving them off expect to say I loved Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap. My favorite Trek movie... tie between Khan and the whales. I'm going to go with Khan just because I hated that cetacean biologist lady. Shallow boring character. Lose her. But for my favorite series, I'm going to have to go with TNG. I love TOS, but it's so... 60s. It's got hippies! Jeez. I love it anyway, but still. All fellow Trek Geeks need to go check out New Voyages and Of Gods and Men. New Trek continuing the 5-year mission, done by fans and former writers and cast members. They get better with every episode. I love these guys!
- Anything with Vampires - Ok, not technically a movie title, but still. Stick some fangs on someone and I'll have a hard time not loving it. Both Underworlds, All three Blades, Lost Boys, Interview with the Vampire, Bram Stoker's Dracula (even with Keanu's wooden acting). And after resisting for many years, I finally found out that I totally love Buffy and Angel. I can't even believe it. I went from thinking "stupid girly thing" to owning all seven seasons of Buffy and all five of Angel. So for anyone who hasn't watched it, don't let the apparent stupidness stop you. Or the horrifyingly dull movie (dull vampires?? yep). The shows aren't like that. They're girlier than, say, Blade, but they're really good stuff. Funny, moving, and yet full of weapons and slaying. But do skip the movie unless you're watching it for the sake of completeness. Which I have done for you. You're not missing anything. It's not stupid humor like it seems it might be. It's just a yawnfest.
- Terminators: I seriously love all three of those. Arnold needs to quit his day job and go back to Terminating.
- Riddick: Yep. Although I may be one of the very few people who liked Chronicles better than Pitch Black. But both are good. I now own the regular and director's cuts of Chronicles on DVD. Yay, me!
- X-Men: Damn, I love the casting in these! Mostly. Well I love most of the guys, and I love Halle and Rebecca, anyway. Plus anything with both Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan has to be good. I'll also add that I like the vast majority of Marvel movies. Hulk sucked, and I skipped Spiderman 3, but I even liked FF/Silver Surfer more or less.
- Die Hards: Not so much the middle one, but 1 & 3 rocked.
- Jaws: I consider this to be the first seriously good movie ever. Before Jaws, there were some decent movies, but none were like this. I even forgive the couple of scenes where you can't even pretend the shark is real. And I feel really badly for the actors out there in the ocean off Nantucket in June. Do you have any idea how COLD the water is in New England at that time of year?? I have reservations about going in there in late August. My feet turn blue and go numb. It's not pretty.
- Indiana Jones: because duh. Much fun and Harrison Ford. What else is there, really?
- Lethal Weapons: All four. Who doesn't like those?
- The One: Jet Li is so cool in that movie.
Occasionally the local drive-in sneaks in a Boring Movie among Things I want to See, so I have seen a few more of the boring variety. I saw While You Were Sleeping. Awful. I saw My Best Friend's Wedding. I swear, if it wasn't for her gay friend being pretty entertaining, I might have gone postal right there in the parking lot. I hated everyone else in that movie a lot. I have been very careful to wait the drive-in out lately, so I don't get stuck seeing crap. I tend to sit through those movies going "is that seriously the worst thing that ever happened to you??" Well... yeah. Apparently it is.
Anyway, the future will (with any luck) bring me talking about old movies, new movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, horror, mutants, that sort of thing. And probably what I'm reading. I've been catching up on Bradbury and Clarke lately. There's a reason those two are Masters of the Genre. Great stuff. I might even get around to finishing King's Dark Tower series. I've read almost everything he's written, and he's got some fantastic stuff, but I have yet to get around to the last two DT books. I just have this bad feeling that they'll be more like Wizard and Glass (boring) than like The Wastelands (couldn't put it down). And if I get really ambitious, I might even read some of the D&D books my son has lying around here. I never made it past 1st edition, so I'm feeling like Thac0 from the Goblins comic. (Go read this thing. Awesome. And read Order of the Stick too, while you're at it.)
Until next time...